Memorial address

Sorry folks, The Memorial is at Redeemer Lutheran Church, 6001 Island Crest Way, Mercer Island, WA 98040, 206-232-1711. The Memorial will start at 11:00. We are about 20 minutes from downtown Seattle.

Directions: Take I-90 East or West and take the Island Crest Way Exit
Go South about 2 miles.
Redeemer is on the Right and there is sign in front of the church.
There is parking in the back of the church and there will be people to help you park.

Much love to all. Sue

Jesus Calls

What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry Everything to God on prayer.
Oh, what peace we often forfeit; Oh, what needless pain we bear ---
All because we do not carry Everything to God in prayer.

Text: Joseph Scriven
Tune Charles Converse

Bill told me that this is one of the hymns that he wants sung at his Memorial.

On Sunday, August 30 at 3:15 pm Jesus took Bill in his arms and gave him eternal rest. The last two days of Bill's life were peaceful. Well, except that he had to put up with Nurse Sue fumbling around to keep him clean and shaved. I was in the bedroom with him talking while straightening things and he stopped breathing. It was over. In the morning I had sat with him and had told him that I could feel the angels sitting on the bedposts watching and guarding him. I love the angels. Bill mostly kept his focus in life on Jesus and his relationship with God.

Just a few minutes after Bill died two friends from church came. Boy, God knows how to take care of me. They took over and took care of me. I told mom and called Amanda and Karl. That was really all that I was capable of doing. The funeral home came and they were wonderful with Bill. They gave mom and I all of the time that we needed. One of our church family started singing hymns and we sang Bill out of the house. He used to sing to shut ins and people who where close to death. Bill loved to sing and he loved to sing God's praise.

We are having a Memorial for Bill on Saturday September 5 at 11:00. We will have a light lunch for everyone following the service. Bill wanted the members of Redeemer to do the Memorial so we will. Our family is coming in from all over, bless their hearts, and I am surrounded by love.

I have to say that I feel like I am walking through the darkest night without my compass. I feel God's presence and I feel Jesus walking and holding my hand. I wanted Bill to walk the rest of my life with me, but I am not going to get what I want. Please pray for me, that I can face my future and regain my life is joyful outlook. I will probably post a few more blogs at least. I have heard that this has been a good thing for lots of the readers. Frankly, this has been part of my salvation. I feel like I am close to all of you and that I am personally talking with you. I love all of you and thank you with my broken heart for your love, care, kindness, and prayers. Love, Sue

PS - I read this and realize that I didn't put in some details, so I will add more later. For now, I need to stop. I am crying too hard. If there is something you want at Bill's Memorial, or if you are going to be there and want to say something please let me know. We are just going to have fun and love Bill and PRAISE GOD FOR ALL OF HIS BLESSINGS AND FOR TAKING CARE OF MY SWEET WILLIAM.

Bill sleeps

It seems that this cancer goes faster than I can keep up with. Yesterday I told myself that Bill was sleeping a lot and that maybe he didn't need so much medication. I sure didn't get the right education to practice medicine, but I rearranged his medication and waited to see how he did. Our family doctor called, a lovely Christian man who has been Bill's doctor for 17 years. He has been out of town, but listened to my concerns and agreed that it would be fine to see what amount of medication Bill needs by waiting to see how Bill reacts without the regular dose. He also asked for the privilege to be Bill's Hospice Doctor. Bill would like knowing that kind and steady Dr. McFarland is in charge during this time. He told me that Bill's liver might not be processing things well and that would mean that Bill might be more sleepy and also that the medication can build up in the body and Bill may not need as much. Bill got very restless after dinner and I gave him some medicine, both for the restlessness and for pain. He slept well through the night.

Then this morning it truly hit me that Bill isn't talking with me any longer and wasn't yesterday. I don't know exactly what is happening, but I don't think that he is sleeping. I think that he isn't really awake at all. I probably am not saying this well, but I fear that Jesus is very close.

This morning I shaved Bill (first time) and gave him a bed bath. It probably is a good thing that Bill is not focused on me or what is going on, because I am not very expert at this bath stuff. Still, he is clean and I felt so privileged and good about caring for him. I have had visitors today, some colleagues who brought flowers and goodies and our friend Jeanne Fraumeni. Bill and I traveled with Dave and Jeanne. It was nice to hear that my coworkers and boss are thinking about me. People are all so kind and if love alone could banish this Cancer it would be gone.

It has been a day of crying a lot for me - I feel like I am losing so much and I don't want to. The days is full of sunshine, but my heart is darker than night. I sit on our bed and listen to Bill breathe. It is labored and sometimes he doesn't breathe for a few seconds. I can feel God's Holy angels holding him in their arms. This is all so hard. This morning I watched the funeral mass for Ted Kennedy. Wasn't it wonderful to have such a wonderful testament to God's grace on national TV? I also liked hearing President Obama speaking about God's mercy and preparing a place for all of us in Heaven. I really like that our president is a strong Christian man.

I know this all a bit disjointed, but both mom (Bill's mom) and I are noticing that our thinking is more disjointed and that we go off on tangents. This being strong stuff stinks.

So, I read Luke to Bill even though I don't know if he hears me. This would be my prayer today:
It is from when Jesus prays just before being arrested. Jesus knows that he is close to the cross and a horrible death. Jesus has lived everything that each of us lives and has conquered it all for us. Jesus prays to his Father:

Luke 22: 42: "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." I keep praying that God will release Bill from this Cancer and release me from a lifetime without this wonderful man that I love. I do not want to drink of this Cup of sorrow. But, God is in charge and I will bend my will to His and care from my husband while he waits - either for healing or release from this earth full of sorrow. Today is a sad and rough day for me. Tomorrow is Sunday, a day of rest and celebration for all the good things God has brought us. Let us all think of 5 blessings that God has given us as we worship tomorrow. I know that my first blessing will be that I believe and will have eternal life. My second blessing will be that God gave me Bill. Love to you all. Sue

Today it is hiccups

If this whole mess weren't so tragic I almost think that I would laugh at our misadventure. Bill hasn't had a fever for a few days and that is great. We got one really good night's sleep - up only once and I hoped that we had turned a corner. Then last night Bill got the hiccups. Every time I would decide that I needed to get up and call the Hospice Nurse to find out what to do the hiccups would stop and we'd sleep for another hour or so. Then in the middle of that whole mess our electricity went out. I heard a big POP and then it was very dark. Fortunately Bill has kept a flashlight on his night stand for years so I was able to get it and we went on with our night of hiccups. I even went to one of our "Health" books and that said to give his half a teaspoon of sugar. I am usually the one who gets hiccups and Bill is always telling me new ways to get rid of them, but in the deepest dark with our little pen light I couldn't think of any.

I did call the Hospice Nurse and bless her heart she had a folk remedy too. You put a table knife in a glass of water, let the knife touch your forehead and drink some of the water. We tried it, but it didn't work so now we will add another pill - this one for hiccups. Bill is starting to have problems swallowing pills so I crush them up and put them in yogurt for him to swallow. Then he gets a little something to eat too. I'm going to make some chocolate pudding later this afternoon for the pills. Bill loves chocolate pudding. Well, actually he loves my chocolate pie, but I'll just make pudding for today.

Oh yes - we got our electricity back at about 9:30. I was late getting my morning coffee and those of you who see me in the morning know that I am not worth much until coffee. I saw our neighbor leave his house earlier than usual today & I thought that he was going to work early because of the lack of electricity. Oh no, he went to Starbucks. Had I only known - I would have had him get me a big cup of coffee. But, we are back on the grid and into another day.

I should catch you up on our construction saga. I spoke to two real people about the early morning noise and yesterday nothing started until 8:00. I was so grateful! Today, they waited until 7:20. Bill slept through it though so I am not going to complain. They did tell me that the work close to our house should be done on Friday. Life does go on. It is only Bill and I who are in our own little cocoon of care.

Today the personal care aide taught me how to shave Bill. Poor guy - I am not going to win any barber contests. We have heard from several of you who knew Bill when he had a beard and he was growing a pretty good one now, but I think he will be happier clean shaven. Bill is sleeping more and more, doesn't leave bed often anymore. He isn't seeing people, it is just too exhausting. I also learned how to change the sheets with someone in the bed.

Bill does talk to God often, just out loud. I think he feels God's presence close by. He asks for help when his chest hurts and he talks about wanting this to be over. Of course, that breaks my heart, but I have to say that it is terribly hard seeing my sweet William in such distress. I'll end with my "card" Bible verse - as usual just the right verse arrived while we were going through all of this: John 14:18: I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. We know that Jesus is here beside us, and that does bring comfort. A miracle would be nice though. Much love to all of you. I do tell Bill about things that people say and write. I love to talk with him. Love, Sue

James 5:7: Be patient, then brothers, until the Lord's coming.

James 5: 11: God cares, cares right down to the last detail.

Today was a busy day and a day when Bill talked about God and his desire for Jesus to support him and to take him home. Today he said to me that he trusts that God will get him from point 1 to point 2. He also asks Jesus to have compassion and help with the pain. Today his back hurt a lot. Yesterday I had a long conversation with the Hospice nurse and she increased Bill's Oxycontin, the long term pain medication. She said that Bill will be a little sleepy while his body gets used to a higher dose, but she was concerned that we had to use so much Oxycodone, called a break through pain medication. Bill shouldn't have much break through pain. So I started the dose and Bill's pain is much better, but he is sleeping almost all of the time. We did have another night where we were up several hours, but he didn't run a fever. The nurse also had me start to give Bill Tylenol on a schedule instead of just when the temperature starts. I keep saying that the nurse did this and that, but I should say that she works within the parameters that the doctor has set for pain management. Hospice has been very helpful.

Bill also got oxygen today so that it is here when he needs it. Right now he doesn't need it, but Hospice doesn't want him to be without if he needs it in the middle of the night. I also met with the Hospice Social Worker - a nice lady. The health aide also came and gave Bill a bed bath. Now I know how to do this and can keep him cleaner. He just is too tired to get to the shower.

So today I yelled at the city of Mercer Island. We are having construction at our intersection and they want to get it done before school starts. It is supposed to make the street safer for the kids to get to school. The only problem is that the big machinery starts at 7:00 am. At first I thought that they were working long days to get finished, but yesterday I noticed that they are all done at 3:00 pm. So, today I called the city Manager and the Maintenance Department and asked that they work from 8-4, instead of 7-3. When you have been awake most of the night having big machinery go beep beep beep as it backs up and dump loads of gravel in front of your house at 7:00 isn't very fun. I doubt I accomplished anything, but I felt better trying to get an extra hour of sleep for Bill in the morning. I am woman, hear me roar when my husband's comfort is at stake. I did actually talk to our City Manager so I guess that I can't say that government doesn't respond.

Oh, I forgot to say that Bill started eating food yesterday and he no longer needs to use "Magic Mouthwash" to swallow. So, I guess his esophagus is healed from the radiation. He eats yogurt, soup, jello, custard, and that kind of stuff. He is enjoying apple juice and iced green tea. He eats very little, but at least he gets to enjoy some food instead of just liquids. I wish I could say that he is stronger, but he isn't. He doesn't even talk to me very much. He did tell me that I take good care of him. It is my privilege and joy to care for this most wonderful man who is struggling so hard to have even a little quality time every day.

I'll end with a Bible verse that I know is familiar to many of you. In our church we often end church with this blessing. It is from Numbers, the account of the Jews wandering in the desert for 38 years. This is blessing that God gave to Moses to give to the Israelites:

The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine on you
and be gracious to you.

Bill and I can feel God in our bedroom. We can feel His face shining on us. We pray that God will continue to bless us with his Grace. Our love goes out to you. Sue

Another Sunday, another day of worship and joy that God loves us so much that He gave us Jesus to win eternal salvation for us.

Bill and I are having a quiet day. On Friday night God granted us a night of sleep. Praise God! We were up a few times, but Bill didn't have the four hour fever in the middle of the night. We both felt rested and that means a lot these days. Bill ate yogurt for breakfast and custard for lunch and that also was a good thing. Boost gives you nutrition, but Bill has always enjoyed good food and I feel better knowing that he is enjoying his meals a little more. He also ate some ice cream in the afternoon. Unfortunately the beastly fever came upon him in the evening so we had a rough Saturday evening, and then he got the four hour beast again at about 3:00 this morning so we didn't get a full night's rest. Bill has been sleeping since about 10:00 and I hope that he feels rested enough to take a shower later today. He is still very weak, doesn't go downstairs at all, and stays in bed.

I so enjoy your emails and comments. Your prayers, your thoughts, the hymns and songs that you quote, and the Bible passages feel my heart with hope and with comfort. Bill prayed that Jesus would give him the energy to get through all of the struggles that today may bring. Please add that to your prayers.

Karl starts school tomorrow. It is still pretty hot in Phoenix so I imagine that sitting in the air conditioned classrooms might feel pretty good. Amanda is still working weekends for Princess Cruise lines and I think actually works through mid September. So, Amanda is basically working 7 days a week. She and Ron bought an upright freezer the other day so she says the job is worth it. Those two are real go getters.

I really haven't talked much about how I take care of myself. I ride my exercise bike for 30 minutes every morning. I go about 11.5 miles on "Random" hill rides. Then I walk the dog (lovely Kai) to dry off my sweaty body. The physical activity feels good. I have become an organization nut and several drawers in my house are all organized and I have discovered some "stuff" I didn't know I still had. Mostly though I sit with my sweet William and enjoy our time together. Love to all of you and please continue to pray for a miracle. Love, Sue

Gosh, The whole week went by and I hardly noticed it. Thank you all for your tremendous support and love. Bill and I both have felt your love, concern, and care.

Bill and I continue to read Luke. On Tuesday I read a verse and he told me that I need to put that in the blog. I love that Bill is thinking of all of you and wants you to know what he is thinking to.

So our Bible thought for the day is Luke 10:20: However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. God sure does know how to make us believers feel better. My name is written with Bill's name and so many of your names. WOW.

We are currently at Luke 16:16 - called "Additional teachings" in Bill's NIV Bible.

So, an update on our physical life in this world. Bill continues to stay in bed, is still pretty weak, and still has a lot of discomfort when trying to eat. This worries him so much that he limits himself to Boost or Ensure. As we all know, he is not going to gain any strength on that kind of a diet so today I am going to be more pushy about eating. We really have to get some help for the fevers that he runs at night. We are both up for 3 to 4 hours because he gets these fevers, he needs ice packs, he needs Tylenol, he needs water, he gets anxious, and of course everything aches. I rub his back, try all kinds of pillow arrangements, and generally hold him and tell him I love him. We see the nurse today and I plan to get a better plan of attack to keep these under control. We both need a night's sleep.

I had a long talk with our pulmunologist, Dr. Gorten. He plans to talk about Bill today at tumor board and will then let me know what the consensus is from all three doctors treating Bill about whether Bill's suffering is more from the treatment or the cancer. In the meantime the Hospice people have started and they are all really great. I know that I want Bill to live so I want this pain and suffering to be from treatment because that means that Bill could rally. But, I have placed Bill in God's hands and I will take this walk with Bill and Jesus. I will also encourage Bill to do things that may help him get stronger.

In the meantime Bill's ministry continues. I got a call from someone yesterday that he and a group of people had purchased boxes of Bibles for the jail ministry and they will have some High School students mark them as Bill has taught many of you to mark Bibles so people seeking faith and understanding about Jesus can start with the highlights of our remarkable God. Otherwise people just start with Genesis and get bogged down with the lists of names and soon stop reading and learning. Bill didn't invent this system, but has had women's groups, students, and just plain folks marking Bibles for years so that when the jail Chaplains give a Bible it comes with a road map to salvation. Those boxes will soon be ready for distribution to the King County Jail. Bill smiled when I told him that. Getting Bibles to prisoners was a big part of his ministry.

I did spend some time in my garden yesterday, trimming old roses and picking off dead pansies. I do love to grub in the garden and our roses are particularly beautiful with their third bloom on the season. The good news about being off of work is that I have tended the garden a little better than some other summers. I had an eye doctor appointment yesterday. I was almost out of contact lenses so I had to go. A good friend, a nurse, sat with Bill. This was a good thing because I get a different perspective on how he is doing. She told me some strengths that she saw in him (like being able to sit up by himself and hold himself up) and that felt good. Oh, and my eyes are in great shape, only a very small change to the prescription.

While Amanda and Ron were here we had a local photographer come to our home and had some pictures taken. We have a family membership and they offered a "Deal." Those of you who know me know that I am such a "Bargain Betty" that I would only go for a deal. I am so glad that we did this and today the photographer is coming so that I can order pictures. We didn't get a family picture because Karl had already returned to Arizona, but I hope that we can get group pictures with him at another time. I admit that I ordered a picture of Bill and I kissing each other. Yes folks, we kissed each other right out on our front lawn in front of God and the photographer. Yes, we did it in front of our children. Ron and Amanda wouldn't kiss for the photographer. So, I guess love does get better and better as the years pass. Okay - that was my attempt at humor. I haven't laughed much this week, but both Bill and I know that we need to do that to.

The only other tidbit for today is that we are having construction done on the corner and street that we live on and we are the second house from the corner. Yesterday the big machines kept beeping as they backed up over and over. Bill asked what the heck was going on and I reminded him about the construction. He said, "I really know how to pick a time to get sick. I get to put up with everything." It is 7:20 in the morning and the big machines are revving up for the day and beep beep beeping along. Oh boy - another day.

I'll end with one of the Bible verses sent in a card this week:
Romans 12:12: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

We pray with hope for a miracle and more time together with minimal suffering. We struggle to be patient with affliction, but Jesus is there with us as we try to find ways to accept this. We hope that all of you will be faithful in praying for Bill - for healing if it is God's will, and for help with this suffering. I would appreciate prayers for humor, patience with the professional team (Just make him better for Pete's sake!), and an appreciation of how wonderful my sweet William is. Much love to you all, Sue

I really don't know how to write today's blog. My heart is so heavy and I don't have good news.

We saw the oncologist Dr. West yesterday because Bill was even more tired, in more discomfort (chest pain and back pain), and had 3 nights of fevers for 3-4 hours. Dr. West told us that Bill's 3 doctors don't believe that the treatment for this cancer have been working and they don't think that anything that they have to offer will significantly stop the cancer and prolong Bill's life with any sense of dignity and more importantly, comfort. The doctors recommended taking a rest from all treatment and getting help from Hospice.

Bill was very quiet while Dr. West talked with us. He asked him how long, and of course there is no good answer for that. Dr. West told us that it could be as short as weeks and that perhaps as the side effects of the radiation diminish Bill would regain a small amount of strength and be able to eat more comfortably and in that case it could be months. Bill asked Dr. West what he can expect and Dr. West told us that Bill will just get weaker, will sleep more, lose his appetite and eventually just fall asleep. There will probably be some discomfort - pain in the chest and back and Hospice will help us with that. Dr. West also said that the tumor effects people differently so he really can't tell us exactly when or what will happen.

Bill told me later, while waiting for the nurse to tell us that Hospice has been arranged, that he has talked with God and told God that he is ready. I am not ready, but I know that I will never be ready. We both are still praying for a miracle, that Jesus would free Bill from this tumor. But, we are also both praying that God will provide small mercies and that Bill will not suffer and will join Jesus without a lot of pain.

I told both children last night and we have told them to both stay where they are and keep on with their lives. Karl starts school on Monday and Amanda is already in the new school year. We are both so grateful that they were able to come and spend time with Bill when he felt a little better. He enjoyed both of them so much.

I know that there is probably more to say. I just don't know how to say it right now. I have been reciting Psalm 23, and just read it from the Contemporary English version:

You Lord are my shepherd. I will never be in need. You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water, and you refresh my life.

You are true to your name and you lead me along the right paths. I may walk through valleys as dark as death, but I won't be afraid. You are with me, and your shepherd's rod makes me feel safe.

You treat me to a feast while my enemies watch. You honor me as your guest and you fill my cup until it overflows.

Your kindness and love will aways be with me each day of my life, and I will live forever in your house, Lord.

We are praying for God's kindness and hope that you will all pray with us. Much love, Sue

Hi all, Just a quick blog today. Bill saw Dr. Mehta, the radiology oncologist yesterday and the doctor told him that he is giving Bill a 4 day break from radiation so that the burn on his esophagus will calm down and hopefully Bill will be able to eat more. He won't get radiation until Tuesday. Right now Bill is only eating Ensure or Boost, nutritional drinks because even the softest foods are too painful to get down. Dr. Mehta told Bill that even though it feels like heart burn it really is that the esophagus is "sunburned." Even though it means that he will have to have radiation all of next week instead of just through Wednesday we are grateful for the break and hope that he can eat for a day or two. He still isn't eating today, but he added some applesauce with lunch so he is trying.

Please keep praying for small mercies - we want Bill to have some nutrition. Much love to you all.

"You have me in -- behind and and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Psalm 139:5

Good morning, I guess that it is time to update Bill's blog. I have been praying on the verse in John 14:27: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. I think that the thought for the week is that Cancer is not for sissies or the faint of heart. This has been a difficult week for Bill.

Bill has radiation until August 19. He is feeling the full impact of radiation and is extremely weak and tired. His exercise is now walking the hallway, not going down the block. Sometimes he needs to use a wheelchair to get back to the car from a radiation treatment. I actually think that what feels worse for him is that he has heart burn that is increasingly painful. It started with pain when he eats and now he has heart burn almost all of the time. He has medicine that he swallows to coat his esophagus and stomach. It works for about 12 minutes, but it makes it harder for him to swallow so now he eats things like soup or ensure so that he can get as much nutrition down in a short period of time. He has another medicine to swallow in between meals to coat his stomach, but that doesn't seem to work well.

Yesterday the doctor prescribed Protonix to stop the stomach from producing acid. We ran into the typical insurance snafu that the insurance requires that Bill try a less expensive medicine, Omeprozole first and that the doctor or pharmacist call the insurance company before they would pay for anything. It interests me to watch TV with the current debate about health care. I think that the people who don't want the government to come between them and their doctor haven't been sick lately and don't realize that their private insurance plan already comes between them and their doctor. We normally don't pay much attention to this, but yesterday the pharmacist said the doctor had to call and then told me that it could take days for this to get resolved. My poor sweet husband needed that medicine before dinner yesterday so that he could eat so I got mad and called the insurance company. Yes, they do require all of the above, but they have a 24 hour call in line for either the pharmacist or doctor to call them. I called the pharmacist and told her that we would move our prescriptions to another pharmacy if she couldn't take the time to call the insurance and she did call so Bill got his medicines. I also called the doctor and his nurse called back right away. They had been working on it all afternoon. All of this calling back and forth and if one person in the call tree decides that they don't have time or that it costs them too much to call, then the patient doesn't get his medicine. I bet that I could have described this better, but the bottom line for me is that Bill got this new medicine, the cheaper one, not the one the doctor prescribed, and we hope that it works. If not, the doctor will call the insurance and they will let Bill have the originally prescribed medicine because he at least tried the cheaper medicine. Modern medicine!

Bill had a rough night, also unusual. He had been sleeping pretty well through the night, but last night he had heart burn pain, and his back was hurting from lying down so much. So fellow travelers on this painful journey please pray that the medicines to control the symptoms of the effects of radiation start working for Bill and that he can rest better and eat better. We want Jesus to heal this horrible tumor, but we also want Bill to have some comfort while he battles this horrible illness. We really need Jesus to rock us in His arms today. Please also pray that I find diplomatic ways to convince all of his care providers and his insurance people to work for his benefit. We need them to want to work for us and I want to save anger for the big fights. I know that I am absolutely furious with the Devil for visiting this tumor on my husband, but those in the battle to save him don't need to feel my wrath. Gosh, it felt good just to write this. Maybe this blog stuff is a good thing.

So, we read our Bible, what sweet words of comfort it brings to us. We are trying to figure out if I can go to work next week. I work three days next week, and they are Bill's last 3 days of radiation. I don't know if he can be alone during the day except for the times that someone takes him to radiation. We are working on some ideas, but I may just take the time that work has offered and stay home. So, I think I have rambled enough. Continue to pray and keep us in your positive thoughts. Much love to all who journey with us, Sue

Sunday - a day of rest

Well, I worked this weekend and Bill enjoyed a last weekend with Amanda and Ron. Those two worked their little hearts out. Ron painted a bedroom. Our blue bedrooms that our children picked many years ago are now a more neutral taupe. I hope I spelled that right. Then, the kids went out and bought us a webcam -we are on Skype. So if you are on Skype tell us your "handle" or name on sykype and then we can talk to you. The web cam is on about $25.00 and skype is free. I can't figure out why we haven't all hooked up so that we can look at each other while we talk to each other. Bill says that the techie kids are dragging us along.

Bill is getting more and more tired. He is definitely tired of staying in bed so much, but that is what he does. We need to remember to ask the doctor when he will start to get some energy back after radiation. The biggest problem is that the heart burn is really causing problems for eating. Fortunately we aren't blazing trails here and the doctors and pharmacists have helped people before us with this. A pharmacist has developed a concoction called "Magic Mouthwash." Bill swallows 2 tablespoons and it coats his esophagus and stomach and allows him to eat pain free for about 15 minutes. We get his plate ready to go and then he swallows his magic and eats his meal. He can use it 4 times a day so he gets 3 meals and a snack. He tried to eat a cookie tonight, but without this stuff eating just isn't fun. He is drinking a nutrition drink like Ensure or Boost every afternoon and fortunately they don't cause heart burn so at least he gets something.

Tonight we ate Amanda and Ron's wedding cake top. It has been in our freezer for a year. Yum yum. Actually it was pretty good, carrot cake. We took pictures and our dog hoped that Ron and Amanda would drop cake on the floor while they fed each other. It is hard to believe that it has been a year since the wedding. That was a truly lovely day.

Bill did attend church today and loves being with his church family. Redeemer really pulls together to proclaim God's love for all of us. This weekend I think that Jesus carried us on His shoulders. I'm glad that he is so strong and takes such good care of us. I'll leave you with this verse: It is a good thought: "We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 Keep praying. We certainly are. Love, Sue

More Radiation in our future

We saw Dr. Mehta, the Radiology Oncologist today and he told Bill that Bill has been handling the radiation well so they are going to give him the full amount of radiation that was scheduled. So Bill will get a total of 25 sessions of radiation and his last session is August 19. Dr. Mehta said that they wouldn't see that the tumor has shrunk for 3 months and that the tumor could actually show shrinkage for up to a year. Wow. The tumor leave scar tissue and it takes a long time for the actual shrinkage to show up on a scan. Well - I guess that we will have to be patient.

For those of you who are local and read this we need drivers for radiation on Monday 8/17, Tuesday 8/18, and Wednesday 8/19. Bill's radiation appointment is at 1:00, at 1221 Madison, and parking is provided next door at no cost. Bill gets picked up at 12:15 and we are usually home by 2:00. I am scheduled to work on those days and would appreciate anyone who might have time to take him. Just call me at 206-236-6271 and I'll put you on the schedule. The other days are covered now.

We have enjoyed some visits from some pastors in the area and some mighty powerful prayer. Bill is very tired most of the time and is also having some heart burn from the radiation. He has never suffered from heart burn and is now looking into the over the counter "stuff" like lots of people do. The doctors told him that over the counter meds should work fine, and if not they have something that might help. His esophagus gets "sunburned" with the radiation so food goes down a little harder.

Our son in law Ron arrived very late last night and I made donuts for the crew this morning. He has helped me with some stuff on my computer - a son in law worth his weight in gold. He and Amanda are going to the Mariner's game tonight - hoping to get a bobble head doll of Ken Griffey, Jr. Ron played baseball into college and likes to go 2 hours early to watch batting practice so I am guessing that they will get that doll! Karl got back to Arizona safely and was going out to swim at the river with some friends today. He is back to the heat. We actually are still in cooler than normal weather, but are enjoying it because of the horrible heat that we had last week.

Bill's mom had a small vertigo attack last night and is better today, but will need to take it easy for a week or two. She had one about 2 months ago and we went to the doctor, but it is a function of age and brain and ears. The best medicine is actually some exercises that the Physical Therapist taught her so she is staying at home and getting better. We love her so.

Today I read John and found this verse to be helpful: John 14:18: I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

Bill and I feel the presence of Jesus in our home and our lives. We know that He is carrying us today and tomorrow. We certainly could not walk this walk by ourselves. Best of all He has sent angels by the legion to walk with us. We so appreciate all of you and all of our other friends and family who pray for us and with us and who love us. Thank you all.

A late post is better than not post

They say that confession is good for the soul. So - I confess that I forgot our password and tried every variation that I could think of and never lucked onto it until this morning. So - I have now written it down in a "secret" place so that I can communicate when I want to. Sorry fellow readers.

Bill has been extremely tired for the last two days. We aren't sure what this is from, but are guessing that the accumulated radiation is effecting his energy level. He is spending more time lying down and sleeps more. I am hoping that he can regain a bit more energy over the weekend when he doesn't have radiation. Bill wrote farewell letters to the prisoners that he has corresponded with, some for years, about their Christian faith. He wrote a general letter and then wrote personally on each letter. He has asked Amanda to post the letter because it says a lot about how he is handling this whole Cancer. Bill said that it was hard to say good bye to his friends, knowing that some of them get no contact from the outside world except from him. Please pray for them today, that Jesus will comfort them and give them courage to keep their faith strong and their lifestyle Christlike, even in prison. We all know that Jesus is always with us, but sometimes we don't feel it. We know that these men have committed crimes and are being punished, but we also believe that we can feel compassion for them just as God felt compassion for us and gave us Jesus.

Gosh, a sermon - sorry. My emotions are running high these days and I get carried away.

Karl is returning to Arizona today. He was with us for a week. He was very anxious about his father and we hope that by spending time with him Karl was able to feel some comfort in the awful time. We want him to return to school and keep getting his education. Amanda took Karl shopping for some new clothes, he saw the dentist for his teeth cleaning and spent time with Bill.

Ron joins us tonight - late. Bill and I will be sleeping, we hope! I have a list of "computer questions" for our computer son in law. I think I will keep him busy. Our weather is finally cool. It is actually cooler than is normal in August. What a crazy weather summer we are having. I guess that nothing is normal in our lives this year.

We received a card with this verse: Isaiah 26:3, You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast: because he trusts in you." Our hearts are in turmoil, our earthly minds worry, but when we focus on God and trust in his will then we do feel peace. We continue to pray for healing and today we also pray that Karl will have safe travel to Arizona and Ron will have safe travel to us. May God protect all of you, and keep you in His peace. Love, Sue

Letter to the men dad ministered to

Hello friends
Recently dad dictated a letter to me for the men he ministered to in jail. He wanted to let them know what was going on in his life in his own words. We wanted to share with all of you what he shared with them as he wrote this himself.

Dear

I know it has been an unusually long time since you have heard from me. I have received a letter from you, thank you. My letter to you today is the result of the greatest shock in my life and it has meant I have not been able to write to you. On July 1 I was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. It has meant that my faith has been greatly tested and yet I have proved faithful, thanks to the work of the holy spirit in me and the prayers of many. I spent numerous days at Swedish hospital diagnosing and coming up with a treatment plan for my lung cancer. I am now in treatment at Swedish Cancer Institute in Seattle. I receive chemo therapy everyday by mouth and I go to the radiology center every day for treatments, but God has been the strength of my life and has given me the courage and strength to endure this trial. I know you have faced many trials in your life and I share application to God for being the captain of my ship. Due to the cancer I have gone on full disability from my church as pastor and as chaplain. I am experiencing the promise of God for a Sabbath rest for believers in Christ. I have had to put down my earthly work and allow God and him alone to be fully at work in me. I seek your prayers now because God loves you and God loves me and he hears your prayers for Jesus sake. I would ask you to pray on a couple scriptures that have been meaningful and inspirational for me for these last few weeks.

Ephesians 1:19-20
19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power 20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places,

Philippians 3:12
12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

Philippians 3:10
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

I want to thank you for the friendship we have had by mail and I ask Gods blessing upon you. How my life will proceed from here is a mystery and in Gods hands so I do not know if I will be able to write to you again. I intrust you in Gods care and I trust his holy angels to watch over you and I know he will send other servants to guide you on your journey.

Thank you and God bless you,
Chaplain Bill

1st Thessalonians 5:16-18

Bill is praying on this: Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Our circumstances are a little better this week. We had a lovely two days in Sequim. The weather was perfect and we got to spend some time with a few friends. Bill tired with the ride in the car, but perked up the next day. He continues to add to his strength and is walking almost a block twice a day. He is enjoying his meals and eats well. Reading the Bible is a great joy. There is so much comfort there, and so much to nurture our spirit. We do pray for healing.

Bill has radiation until August 12 and continues to take the Tarceva. We will learn next week what is next. I worked today and will again tomorrow. We get to enjoy Amanda and Karl for the rest of this week and Amanda's husband Ron joins us on Thursday night. We are so happy to have our family with us. Please keep praying for us both. Bill needs to have that tumor destroyed and I need to keep smiling. Love to you all, Sue

Back on Mercer Island

Hello friends
I will make a quick post since I think mom plans to post later, but we wanted let people know,other than the drive out, dad had a nice time in Sequim. We saw some friends, sat in the sun room, enjoyed the view, ate good food, and relaxed. Dad went to his radiation apointment today and we are tired this afternoon.
I hope all is well for everyone and we will write more later.
Amanda Bill and Sue