I love Bill and I think about him all of the time. I have been in a funk for the last 2-3 weeks. I think that I really geared up to get through the holidays and his birthday, but then there wasn't anything to focus on so I just stopped and cannot find a goal to focus on and get myself going. I have started reading more. I have to fill the hours somehow. It is tax time and I would like to get that done, but cannot seem to get up any steam to do something about the taxes.
Well - I am in a whiny mood. I just miss Bill so much and feel the grief roll over myself everyday. I really thought that life would get easier, but it really hasn't. I am really leaning on God a lot these days. I keep thinking about what Bill and I were doing and thinking at this time last year and how neither of us knew that anything was wrong. Life was so wonderful and now it isn't. I am glad about the memories
You know, I think I will sign off - this is just too sad. I think I will read my Bible and find one or two things that I am grateful for and happy about and then I'll blog again. Pray for me friends. I am praying all of the time and Jesus has me in his arms. Love to you all. Sue
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As you wrote this last night, Sue, I was on my way home from St. Louis where, among other people, I saw your and Bill's good friend James. It was good to see him again. We talked about Bill and about you, dear sister. I found myself praying for you on and off as I was doing some sermon prep on the flight from Denver to Seattle. After fishing all night the disciples had empty nets and were exhausted. Jesus invited them to listen to his teaching for a while, and then encouraged them to "go out into the deep water" where they couldn't imagine that they'd catch anything, but they caught so many fish their nets were bursting. You, too, feel empty and exhausted. But you're listening to the words of Jesus, and you, too, are exploring "deeper waters." I trust that you, too, will see God's gracious provision and in time know again it's joy. May the Lord's grace surround you, Sue. With love, Paul (P.S. I'll send a hug with Pris tomorrow)
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so honest and sharing.May God grant you healing of the open wound and comfort and strength on this difficult part of your healing journey.His strength is sufficent for each day.
ReplyDeleteA new journey has begun and in the days ahead He will lead you on the path He has for you.
I lift you up in prayer each day.
Peace to you. Bobbie